Repost: Circles

The thing about circles is that there is no room for change; there are no corners to express your individuality, your happiness, your sadness. You’re stuck with who you were and what you have then.

And so you have your circle of friends –those whom you trust, those who stayed by your side through thickness and thinness, those who accept you for whoever you are and those who encourage you for whoever you will become. Yet sometimes you just hate being surrounded by them. You know that they will always have something to say with everything that you do. Even their silence could mean something.

Let’s say you’ve been hurt by someone you’ve loved for the longest time. Your friends wanted to protect you, and you let them. As fragile as a glass, you go on to find strength to move on. You tell yourself, “Hey, it’s his loss, not mine. Try to live your life apart from him. Live a life.”

It would be tough but you were convinced that everything’s going to be fine. And so you went on trying that new outlook in life. You live apart from him, well, at least for a few days. Then you realized that it’s harder than you thought because you are friends. Or at least, both of you are claiming to be. You are both trying to salvage a friendship and you understand that throwing that friendship away is just as tough as getting over him. And the worse part is that your friends are also his friends. You just can’t get rid of him as easily as you want it to be.

Getting over him, saving friendships –and to think that you’re not a superhero, you have no superpowers to deal with everything all at the same time. But that’s the fact. That’s the reality that you want to maintain, you’re friends with him minus the feeling.

Plus, you are blessed by friends who are so concerned about your well-being. It's as if they are trying to be your fairy godmother, or your personal Confucius. I guess the latter is more applicable. You know you can’t blame them because they are only concerned with what you feel, but sometimes they just make things more confusing, and you become more confused. Sure, they see things clearly more than you do but I guess they sometimes forget that it is not that easy to do things as quickly as a snap, especially when it comes to emotional dilemmas, just like what you are in right now.

Is staying in that circle the best thing to do? Or maybe you have to get out of there for a little while so that you can see things, as much as they see them? Or maybe getting some “corner” in that circle would greatly help? But if that’s the case, it would not be circle anymore.

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Hindi ko na maalala kung bakit ko 'to sinulat, malamang nag-aangas lang ako! hahaha. April 2005 ko daw siya sinulat. Sori pero di ko na maalala anong nangyari nun. Selective amnesia. hehehe