I will miss you, Dr. Nowee

Life is so short to realize you're missing half of it.


This morning, a phone call from Nur, my Indonesian classmate, woke me up. "Dr. Nowarat died this morning."

I didn't want to believe what I just heard.

It's not like I didn't know this is going to happen. She's been sick since last semester. She was confined to the hospital for months and she only returned during the finals. She was one of the nicest professors I've ever met, not to mention that I really admire her intelligence. She was teaching Nanotechnology here in AIT plus Environmental Engineering subjects. She was an Applied Physics graduate from Mahidol University here in Thailand and she continued her graduate and postgraduate studies in the US. She was my academic adviser. We were never really that close but since she has that refreshing personality, I've always liked her. Our last conversation was during the registration period and before she took her leave this semester.
But even though we already knew her passing will eventually happen, I didn't realize it'll be this soon. Maybe I was expecting a miracle, that her life will be extended just for a couple of months... or years. She was still young and she still had so many things to do. But as what they always say, you'll never know when your time is up.

I didn't know her well enough so I cannot say she wasted her life for unimportant things. Her work was probably her most valued possession, and maybe she had so many plans to improve the quality of life of many. But then, what's the use of all these when you don't have the strength to even lift a pen? She took her work so seriously that maybe she forgot to take care of herself.

I am sometimes like that. Sleeping really late and even being awake for 48 hours straight just to finish a requirement for school, not eating on time, eating unhealthy food, etc... and for what?

We only live once, and we have to use it to the fullest and most meaningful way possible. But since our lives are relatively shorter compared to our plans and dreams, it's better to try to prolong our lives, or at least not try to shorten it, so that we can at least achieve half of the things that we intend to accomplish before the last straw of breath leaves our frail human body.

And maybe the thought that our lives are not entirely ours, probably we can have that sense of responsibility not to waste what was entrusted to us. We are accountable to the way we live our lives.

I am going to miss you, Dr. Nowee.