Badtrip

Ako na naman ang masama.

Ako na naman ang kontra-bida.

:(

Di aamin.

"I am a bad case of imperfection."

Alam mo, nararamdaman kita. Nararamdaman ko kung gaano ka nasasaktan sa akin. At nasasaktan ako. Pero anong gagawin ko sa distansiyang pumapagitan sa atin? Traydor ang distansya at mapanlinlang ang panahon. Kung hindi natin tatanggapin ang sakit ngayon, baka hindi natin makayanan ang sakit sa kalaunan.

Kaya mas mabuti nang ngayon na lang.

Kung kailan hindi pa tayo pinagkakanlulo ng distansya at pinaglalaruan ng panahon.

Lets Party

Since nobody reads multiply anymore coz it is so outdated, I'm gonna rant here like crazy!

Nah... Aksaya energy! Tulugan na lang! :P

Dahil wala akong mapagsulatang iba...

Tama naman ang kaibigan kong si Deo e. Isa akong malaking duwag. Magaling lang akong magsalita pero wala, kapag nandiyan na mas pinipili ko pa ring magtago o tumakas.

Hayyy...

Pinag-uusapan kasi namin kanina ang tungkol sa pag-ibig, bilang pareho kaming nababato sa aming mga ginagawa sa trabaho. Nasa Thailand pala siya at ako ay, well, basta nasa Pilipinas. Hehe. Hindi ko alam kung paano napunta ang usapan namin sa pag-ibig. Kasi ang alam ko, trabaho ang pinag-uusapan namin e. Pero 'yun, napunta na lang bigla ang usapan sa masalimuot na mundo ng pag-ibig. Madalas naman naming pag-usapan ang mga ganitong bagay pero kanina lang niya natumbok ang totoong estado ng aking pagkatao.

Ang sabi ko sa kanya, kanya-kanya namang kaduwagan 'yan. Sumang-ayon naman siya. Kung siya ang kinatatakutan ay ang pagkabaliw, ako ang kinatatakutan ko ay pag-ibig. Takot daw akong umibig. Takot daw akong tumalon. Nilalabanan ko daw sa tuwing dumarating ako sa puntong ganito.

Hindi ko rin alam bakit hindi na ako makasalita o makabawi sa kanyang sinabi dahil sa mga nakaraan naman naming usapan, lagi lang akong bumabalikwas kapag nako-corner na. Wala, kanina hindi na ako nakapanlaban pa at inamin ko na lang na duwag ako. Plus tawa, siyempre.

E ano naman ba naman pang gagawin kong pagtanggi e nakita na niya ang tunay kong kulay. Sabi ko na lang na huwag niyang ipagsasabi.

E bakit nga ba ako natatakot?

...

Hindi ko rin alam.

Siguro, tulad ng sabi ko sa kanya kanina, kakaunti na lang kasi ang natitirang tapang sa akin at kung lagi't lagi kong gagamitin at isusugal ang tapang na yun sa pagtalon, baka wala nang matira kung kailan kailangang-kailangan ko ng tapang na yun. Hindi rin naman dapat basta-bastang tumalon.

At totoo rin naman na hindi pa ulit ako bumabagsak sa napakatagal na pagkahulog na ito. Parang habang-buhay na lang yata akong mahuhulog, habang-buhay na lang akong matutuwa sa konsepto ng pag-ibig pero wala naman talagang totoong kinababagsakan, wala namang totoong minamahal.

O baka naman kasi ayaw ko naman talagang bumagsak. Dahil masakit yun. Pero nakakabato at nakakapikon na ang walang-katapusang pagkahulog na ito. Nagiging manhid na ako at baka sa oras na mahulog na ako ay hindi ko na mapansin dahil nasanay na lang ako sa pakiramdam nang laging nahuhulog na walang kinababagsakan.

Hindi ko alam.

Pero kung sakaling iibig akong muli, pwede naman kasing hindi ako mahulog diba? Pwede namang may magpapatigil lang sa walang-katapusang pagkahulog na ito.

Knight in Shining Armor?

So ang peg ko ay isang Damsel-in-Distress. Yuck, ayoko pa naman nun. Pero anong magagawa natin, minsan naghahanap lang tayo ng mala-Robin Padilla na sasagip sa atin mula sa saksakan nang tarik na bangin. Oh well...

Kung pang-leading lady lang siguro ang karakter ko, pwede. Pero hindi bagay sa akin yun e. Pang-extra o kontrabida lang ang karakter ko. At karaniwan sa mga istorya, dedma ang buong mundo kung anong mangyari sa mga extra at kontrabida.

Ako lang naman lagi ang nagkakagusto sa mga kontrabida at extra.

:(

Punto de Vista v.2

The clouds are like fairies dancing to the rhythm of the blowing wind. The sun lights up everything it kisses. Ah! Blue is blue and green is green indeed. All the colors stay true and lies are swept away by the waving sea.

This is such a pretty place.

Nag-aalangan

I was browsing through this blog today, hoping to finish deleting the whole thing.

I realized I've had too many of good memories here.

Now I don't want to erase this blog anymore... tsktsktsk

The move has started...

Yun lang.

"If it's a broken part, replace it. If it's a broken arm then brace it. If it's a broken heart then face it." --Details in the Fabric, Jason Mraz

Narealize ko lang na kapag tumatanda ka na pala, hindi mo na kinakatakutan ang mga bagay na dati mong kinakatakutan. Yun nga lang, may mga bagay rin na dating hindi mo kinakatakutan ang ngayo'y kinakatakutan mo na, nang bongga.

Tulad halimbawa ng rejection. Kung dati ayos lang mabasted ng makailang ulit kasi fresh pa naman ang puso mo, kaya mo pang i-take ang lahat ng sakit. Kasi alam mong sa kinabukasan, nagrerefresh lang ng kusa ang puso mo.

Kaya lang habang tumatagal, marami kang natutunan. Natututo kang lumaban sa sakit. natututo kang umiwas sa sakit. Natututo kang matakot sa sakit. Hanggang sa ayaw mo na sa sakit, dahil pwede namang hindi masaktan.

Yun nga lang, hindi ka naman pwedeng magmahal nang hindi sumusugal na masaktan.

Kaya mo pa bang magmahal?

Ayoko ng Ulan

Ayoko ng ulan. Dahil para akong nilulunod nito sa dagat ng kalungkutan.

Hindi ako marunong lumangoy. At hindi ako siguradong may sasagip sa akin o kung gusto nila akong sagipin. Ang iba'y para lang nakakita ng basurang tinatangay ng alon.

Walang gustong humawak ng basura. Walang gustong sumagip ng basura. Ang basura, tinatapon. Sinusunog. Hinahayaang matangay ng hangin. Ng tubig. Ng pagkaagnas. Ng paglimot.

Ayoko ng ulan. Dahil kaya ako nitong lunurin.

At walang sasagip sa akin.

:,(

Pwede bang umayaw na lang? 'Yung tipong isang araw hindi ka na gigising? Tutal parang walang silbi na rin naman ang lahat. Hindi ka rin naman nakikita. Wala ka rin lang namang matinong ginagawa. So bakit hindi ka na lang umayaw? O di kaya'y maglaho na lang? Tutal wala rin namang pagkakaiba kung nandito ka o wala.

Pwede bang umayaw na lang?

Manila Chronicles: Huwebes, MRT, at ang litanya tungkol sa pangit ng isang pasaherong nagmamaganda

Naririnig ko si Rebecca Black na kumakanta ng kanyang makabagbag-damdaming "Friday" kahit Huwebes pa lang ngayon. At hindi yan dahil natutuwa ako sa kanta. Nababadtrip ako kaya gusto kong gawing katatawanan ang kabadtripan ko. Ewan lang kung matawa ako.

Tulad ng araw-araw na kaganapan tuwing umaga, magbibiyahe ako galing bahay. Maghihintay ng jeep papuntang MRT. Aakyat ng hagdanan dahil hinaharangan nila ang escalator para daw sa "crowd control". Anong crowd control? Tsk. Pagdating sa may guard, inspeksyon, inspeksyon!  Malas na lang kung ang nasa harapan ay sandamukal ang dala o kaya e nakalimutang hindi pala pwedeng magdala ng softdrinks ng Mcdo sa loob ng tren. Kung susuwertehin, madali lang ang inspeksyon. Sisilip lang ang mga guards sa bag ko, so kahit may dala akong matulis na bagay ay hindi nila mapapansin dahil sa dami ng tao, kailangan nilang magmadali sa pag-iinspeksyon.

Buti na lang may tiket na ako. Kahit nasanay ako sa UP bilang Unibersidad ng Pila, hindi ko pa rin nagugustuhang pumila lalo na MRT na grabe ang ugali ng mga tao. At least sa UP, may decency ang mga tao sa pagpila. May hiya, at kahit kaya nilang i-argue ang maaari nilang gawing kabulastugan, mas pinipili pa rin ng mga taga-UP na sumunod sa pila dahil walang ibang paraan kundi yun! Haha! Sa MRT, wala rin namang ibang paraan pero bukod sa lahat na ng amoy ay maaamoy mo, sisiksikin ka pa rin kahit sa pila. Para namang may mababago kung maniniksik sila.

Hindi pa natatapos ang kalbaryo dun. Kahit makasakay ka na sa tren pagkaraan ng mahabang panahon, hindi ka pa rin makakahanda sa kung anong maaaring mangyari sa loob ng tren. Swerte mo na kung hindi masiraan ang tren. Kung may bait lang ang mga tren ng MRT, suki na sila ng Mental Hospital dahil lagi silang nasisiraan!

Sa Php15 binabayaran mo sa pagsakay sa MRT, ang katumbas lang nito ay ang kung anong tinatapakan ng paa mo. Hndi kasali ang espayong inuukopa ng iyong katawan, regardless of your size. Ang payat at ang mataba ay pareho lang. Dahil pagpasok ng tren, nawawala na ang konsepto ng espasyo. Sasabihin pa ng driver, "Maluwag pa po." Maluwag ka diyan!!! Kayo kaya ang maging pasahero!

Kung video game lang ang pagsakay sa MRT, dapat marami kang Lives, Energy at Weapons dahil hindi ka makaka-survive kung wala ka na nun! Survival of the fittest, survival of the makakapal, survival of the walang pakialam. At pagdating sa destinasyon, kailangan mo talagang magpasalamat na buhay ka pa.

Sa araw na ito, mukhang naubusan yata ako ng Energy at Weapon. Iisa na lang din yata ang Buhay ko. Delikado na. Tapos pagsakay ko ng jeep, may dalawang babaeng nagtsi-tsismisan tungkol sa kanilang lab(o)life. Haha. Tsismis. Pampadami ng Energy.

Ayon sa kuwento ng isa, may lebel daw ang kapangitan. May medyo pangit, bearable ang kapangitan, pangit, pangit na pangit, at nuknukan ng pangit. Ang lalaki na object ng kanilang pangungutya ay isa yatang manliligaw. At dahil nanliligaw, may date na naganap. Sa sobrang pangit daw ng lalaki, yung babaeng nagkukuwento ay lumayo nang makakita siya ng kakilala. Gusto ko pa sanang makinig sa kanilang kuwento kaya lang nung makita ko yung babaeng nagkukuwento, naubos lahat ng Energy ko sa sobrang hindi ko matanggap na pangitain. (Alam na!)

Kailangan kong mag-replenish ng Energy. Kasi bukas, Biyernes, uulit lang din ang ganitong pangyayari sa MRT. E ano naman kayang sidedish na kuwento ang mauulinigan ko? Hmmm...

Moda-modahan sa Hapon

Iisang langit lamang ang nagkakanlong sa ating dalawa, at ngayon kahit gaano ka kalayo, sa bibihirang pagkakataong ito, pareho tayo ng langit na tinitingnan. Sa katunayan, malapit ka kumpara sa dati. Kung pwede nga lang sana kitang abutin, pinilit ko na sanang idinipa ang aking mga braso't kamay para lang maabot ka. Pero kahit na ang layo mo sa akin ay kulang lang sa isang dipa, hindi pa rin kita pwedeng abutin. Hindi na pwede.

Kaya hanggang sa ganito na lang ako -- nalulugod sa miminsanang pagmasid sa magandang dapithapong dumaraan nang sabay sa ating dalawa.

Virtual Moda

"I’m only okay

when the palm of your hand is

in the palm of mine."

— Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

Panandaliang Aliw

Parang one night stand lang or one-day promo...














Had the opportunity to use Nikon D40 in Baguio last weekend. Buti na lang, the office owns one and they let me use it. :P

Nakikipagkilala pa ako sa DSLR. I still have tons of things to learn, so please be nice. (Thanks to Amer, though, and to his photojourn lectures in our 2007 CJW escapade.) :P

Ashes and Wine

Don't know what to do anymore. I've lost the only love worth fighting for. I'll drown in my tear-storming sea. That would show you that would make you hurt like me all the same. I don't want mudslinging games. It's such a shame to let you walk away.

Is there a chance? A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel? A reason to fight? Is there a chance you may change your mind? Or are we ashes and wine?

Don't know if our fate's already sealed. This day's spinning circus on a wheel. I'm ill with the thought of your kiss, coffee-laced intoxicating on her lips. Shut it out! I've got no claim on you now. Not allowed to wear your freedom down.

I'll tear myself away, that is what you need. There is nothing left to say but is there a chance?

Or are we ashes?

-- Kate Walsh

Wow, Update!

Hello Multiply! It's been a while!

(Note: The next sentences will leave you to tears with all my dramatic explanation why I haven't written anything for the last weeks, begging for some kind of compassion and understanding from my loyal readers all over the world...

Of course, it's an exaggeration. Hahaha. Nothing of that sort will ever happen -- asa pa akong may magbasa ng blog na'to! Hehe -- except for the drama thing because as you know, I can drama/ emo all night at will! Hehe! But not this time. I'll save it some other time! hehe...)

I have been busy with so many tasks - job, Sulok, etc. -  that I completely neglected my blogs. Yes, not only you, Xiauismo, so don't make tampo! :) And since my ego button has been activated due to some inspiration-turned-frustration, I decided I should lose weight and jog again. Yes, again! Hehe. I used to jog in AIT almost everyday before the gruesome Thesis period. When I stopped, ayun, I gained so much weight, and inches too! hahaha Now, I've decided I want a beach bod at least before my last slot in the calendar ceases to exist. Hehehe. Oh dear, me and my fantasies! Hahaha. And that is why I haven't had the time to write. So much for a reason, huh?

But seriously, I should start writing soon, actually, I should start writing right about now. Direk Arjay gave me the task of writing the script for Sulok's next stage play. :( But thinking about all the possible materials for it, I always get lost. I cant seem to give it a good twist. My style of writing is totally different (READ: DARK) than Arjay's so, I am having these hesitations that affect my desire to write. Hehe.

But well, I have to.

Anyway, it's GNO tonight with Lau, Sheli and Grets. I was supposed to cook dinner (Puso ng Saging recipes) but I got so tired from work, not in the mood to cook. So we just dined at Friuli. Same table as always, same sitting arrangement too! Hahaha! Kilala na yata kami dun coz we always eat there. Friuli, by the way, is just a few steps away from our place. Madaling gawin excuse ang hindi pagluluto. Hehe.

It's always nice talking with these girls. Sheli, Grets and I were still trying to convince Lau to sign up in Twitter. Hahaha! But she's too hard to convince! Pa-hard-to-get! (Plus all the other topics which I am not gonna tell here. Hahaha!) That's just for the GNO. Chika at chibog. :) After dinner, the unexpected happened... I had the urge to write!

Lo and behold! Wahahaha! Ito na yun, yung gusto kong isulat! Boinks!

Hahahaha!

Manila Chronicles: Wake me up before BINONDO

Foodtrip + Picture taking + paghahanap ng regalo kay Arjay + gala = BINONDO!!! ^^

The Ring

Pangalawa na 'to.

Unang beses, si Said, yung Mexicanong Civil Engr na nagpi-PhD ngayon sa Unibersidad Nacional de Autonoma de Mexico (UNAM) na gwapo at swak ang trip sa trip ko. Sayang yun, pero noon naman e dinedma ko lang talaga ang singsing na nakita ko sa palasingsingan sa kaliwang kamay niya. Hindi rin naman niya kinuwento. Mas nakuwento pa nga niya ang nanay at dalawang kapatid niyang babae na mas panganay sa kanya. After ilang araw, na-confirm ko na lang na totoo ang ibig sabihin ng singsing niya.

Ngayon naman, walang singsing. So inassume ko na single ito, so pwede. Nag-ilusyon. Nagpa-cute. Maraming kilig moments ng mag-isa - dahil hindi rin naman niya ako pinapansin - at nagbabalak magpa-cute sa mga susunod na araw. E biglang nalaman kong wala, may asawa na at anak si THE CRUSH. So wala nang pagpapacute na magaganap.

Hay. Badtrip.

Nagsusumixteen Series: Harmless and Innocent

Dalawa ang crush ko ngayon: isang HARMLESS na pagka-crush at isang INNOCENT crush (at pagkacrush na rin).

(At oo, naririnig ko ang sarili kong sumisigaw, "Eeeeewwww, Ligay!!! Crush? Uso pa ba yan sa edad mo? My gulay!!!" Whatever. Age doesn't matter, does it? hahaha *boogsh*)

Anyhoo, si Harmless crush, a.k.a THE CRUSH, ay ang aking THE CRUSH! Hahaha. First time ko siyang nakita somehow nakuha niya agad atensyon ko. Di ko lang inaamin sa sarili ko. Tipong sa isang room na may mahigit 20 na tao, siya lang ang naalala ko paglabas ko ng kwarto. Hehehe... (Partly dahil kamukha niya si The Ex na sabi nina Lau at Sheli ay hindi naman, ay mali HINDI pala ang sabi nila.) Wala (pa) akong masyadong alam sa kanya at nagnanakaw lamang ako ng silay, sulyap, ngiti, SB sa kanya. Hindi rin pwedeng lumagpas ang landi powers to 1% dahil malalagot ako. Kaya harmless. Harmless pa ako! Hehe. May isang pagkakataon lang na nagkasalubong kami sa corridor at sabi niya, "Hi! Sharon, right?" with matching ngiting pagkatamis-tamis! At ako'y natunaw na parang ice cream na nabilad sa araw. LOL!

Si INNOCENT crush naman ay inosente. Hindi niya alam na crush ko siya at wala akong balak sabihin sa kanya dahil ito'y paglabag sa batas sibil ng Pilipinas: corrupting minors! Hahaha! Natutuwa lang ako sa kanyang pagkabibo. At para sa mga nakakakilala sa akin, wag kayong mag-alala hindi ko haharassin yung bata! Hahaha. Wag lang siyang magpapakita ng motibo kundi... :P BOO!!!

Sila ang nagbibigay kulay sa grayscale kong buhay ngayon, At sabi nga ni Lau, dapat daw siya rin magkaroon na ng crush. Hihihihi.

Pero sana si THE CRUSH maging si THE ONE! Hihihi

Ikaw, sinong crush mo?

:)

Landslide

"Well, I've been afraid of changing

'cause I've built my life around you.

but time makes you bolder

even children get older

and I'm getting older too..."

I heard the song from Smashing Pumpkins way back...

Then heard Sheli played a Glee version of the song... and I remembered the song. If I have more than enough time to make a video now, I would. But maybe I'll do that some other time. For now, just this video grabbed from youtube.

(I'll write again soon, promise...)

D.O.R.M.A.N.T.

Walang powers si Ligay ngayon. In lab e... hahaha 0_o asa!

...

I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman,

“If you miss me. you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.”

I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, emailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?

It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. “Hello?” Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.

Now we exchange numbers but text instead of calling because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. “It was NICE meeting u” Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: “He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?” Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear 2 care, but not 2 much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.

Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what’s it really good for?

There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it’s safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that’s not male behavior, I don’t know what is. It’s also great for passing notes. there is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover’s car.

Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. in some ways, it’s no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn’t like to be publicly adored. Just remember that what you post is out there and there’s some stuff you can’t un-see. But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There’s no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.

We haven’t lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a hand-written letter is greater than ever. It’s personal and deliberate means more than an email or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most important, it’s flawed There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say,

“This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more importantly, all that I am not.”

- Ashton Kutcher

-- grabbed from http://soulfulcaptivity.tumblr.com/post/3027716765/i-was-shooting-a-scene-in-my-new-film-no-strings

Tula at Awit

Just wanna share. :)

Pinapagawa ako ni Arjay ng tula na lalapatan niya sana ng awit para sa BIYAHERO, yung play namin na inorganize na ipapalabas na sa Marso 6 at 13 sa Pasay. Nagkataon naman ni-repost ko ang luma ko ng tula, yung UNTITLED #1. E nagustuhan niya, so yun ang ginamit niya.

Matagal-tagal bago ko narinig ang "finished product", kundi pa ipinost ni VJ yung Biyahero Song Teaser sa fb page ng Sulok. At sobra akong natuwa. Kasi, hindi talaga natural sa aking tumula ng mukhang masaya ang tema so nagulat ako na parang punong-puno ng pag-asa yung nabuong kanta. Ang galing!

So dahil sobra akong natuwa, eto na ang kanta!

(Para sa lyrics, click nyo lang yung link ng tula.)

May iba pang kanta sa play. So NOOD NA KAYO!!!

BIYAHERO

Marso 6 at 13

Pasay Adventist Church Multi-purpose Hall

Pasay City

For ticket reservations, please call 09179901724

Kitakits!!!

Emo-dium 101

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." --Albert Einstein

My Emo Heart

It was my inaanak Chin's 11th bday last Saturday, our lola's 11th death anniv last Friday, and our lolo's bday today. Hehe. There's some family affair in Laguna and before I went home for a weekend-long eating spree, I went out with Chin and Eila, our pamangkins, with my ever-busy cousin, Apol. After eating, we strolled a little at Trinoma and found this 'emo' heart. Hehehe. Nothing to do with Chin's bday, or with anything else. I just bought it coz it's cute, it's black, and it's emo! hehehehe





Pictures from our gimik later this week, maybe... if Pol find time to email me the photos. hehe

Para kay THE CRUSH

I Do Not Love Thee   

by Caroline Elizabeth Sarah Norton

I do not love thee!—no! I do not love thee!

And yet when thou art absent I am sad;

   And envy even the bright blue sky above thee,

Whose quiet stars may see thee and be glad.

I do not love thee!—yet, I know not why,

Whate’er thou dost seems still well done, to me:

   And often in my solitude I sigh

That those I do love are not more like thee!

I do not love thee!—yet, when thou art gone,

I hate the sound (though those who speak be dear)

   Which breaks the lingering echo of the tone

Thy voice of music leaves upon my ear.

I do not love thee!—yet thy speaking eyes,

With their deep, bright, and most expressive blue,

   Between me and the midnight heaven arise,

Oftener than any eyes I ever knew.

I know I do not love thee! yet, alas!

Others will scarcely trust my candid heart;

   And oft I catch them smiling as they pass,

Because they see me gazing where thou art.

My Thesis Love Affair (Thai Version) #1

Sabi ni Thesis, "'Pag 'di mo pa ako pinansin, break na tayo!" Natakot naman ako.

-- tweet ko noong 10 March 2010

Emo-dium 101

Kung susulat ako ng kuwento ng pag-ibig, marahil tungkol ito sa'yo at sa akin, at sa lahat ng ano, sino, saan, bakit at paano na pumapagitan. --mula sa tweet ko noong April 1 2010

Meet Chuchi

Out of boredom, habang nagtatake-down ng notes sa isang uber-boring na seminar/ conference. Kaya siya makulay, para macompensate ang pagiging boring ng sirkumstansya ng kanyang pag-iral. :P

Drawing: Ligay's kamay
Kulay: Photoshop, the one that perfectly touches your skin! hehehe ^^

Nagsusumixteen Series: Sinong crush mo doon?

Naaalala mo ba nung bata ka na kaya ka sumasagot ng slambook/ slumbook ay dahil sa gusto mong ipagsigawan/ ipamalita/ ipareserve kung sino ang crush mo? Oh well, ako hindi dahil wala akong pansagot sa "Who is your crush?" nung bata ako. Delayed reaction ako sa ganyan! Haha. Highschool na ako nagkacrush, at wala sa sinumang naging crush ko ang naging crush din ako (nakasama ko nga lang sa Sagada yung isa after naming hindi magkita ng mahigit sampung taon, hahahaha! Pero wala pa rin! Maling diskarte! Harhar)

So, fastforward (konti pang forward... more... more...hehe) may bago akong pansagot sa slumbook/slambook. Hindi lang ako sigurado if I 'crush' him because he's really interesting or dahil lang may semblance siya sa kakilala ko, mas matangkad nga lang ito, but the angas, mehn, yun lang! :)

First time ko siya makita, si Voldemort (kasi he must not be named e, hehe) na talaga ang naisip ko. Naisip ko nun, "E bakit may kamukha niya dito?" Yung sumunod na beses, hmm, ganda ng pwets mo tsong! haha. Third time, nangingiti na ako. Wala na! Crush ko na siya! Hahaha. Eto pa, bukas mas madalas ko na siyang makikita because you know, the universe may be conspiring for somthing... funny! hahaha. Di ko alam, nagulat lang din ako! Basta yun. ^__________________________^ Hindi ko mapigilan ngiti ko! Badtrip! Hahaha. Sana lang e single pa ito kundi lalagapak na naman ang crushlife ko! At hindi yun maganda! :P

Emo-dium 101

"I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you... I don't deserve you but my brother does." --Damon Salvatore, Vampire Diaries

Date a girl who reads and writes

Liz posted an artix entitled "Date a girl who reads" in her facebook account and tagged me. I reposted it in my other blog 'coz Dusty Typewriter is getting really dusty nowadays, so para lang may post and because i like it. It was actually written by Rosemarie Urquico (dont know her) in response to a post by Charles Warnke, You Should Date An Illiterate Girl.

It was a good read, especially when you read it before, during or after the valentine fever, at syempre nakakarelate ako, char (coz I'd like to believe I am one of those who girls who read, hahaha! Sariling advertisement? Self-supporting? ) Sabi pa:

"Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

E di feeling ko ako nga yun! Hahahaha. Kidding. It was a really a good read.

Then one day, since the world is getting really small, someone commented on my post in Dusty Typewriter. She said she has her own response to Charles Warnke's You Should Date An Illiterate Girl (He's getting really famous, pansin ko lang... kaya I'm not gonna link his blogsite on this post. hehehe), and so I read it.

And my heart goes... awwww... I asked her if I can post this in my other blog (meaning this blog, hehehe) and she said okay. So I am reposting "Date a girl who writes" (although I think I am very much weirder than the kind of girl she's describing...so guys, date me at your own risk! hahahaha!)

______________________

DATE A GIRL WHO WRITES

By Jan Patrice

Find a girl who loves to write. She could be anywhere serene: on the bench, under the tree, on the beach, on top of the mountain, or on the fresh-cut grass field, for it is in those places that she could think better, and write masterpieces out of a paper and a pen. Catch her in the nearby coffee shop, sipping a huge cup of coffee and staring out the shop’s window; it is in those times that she would think about what lays ahead of her on the real world, about her characters, about her next novel. Spot her inside the public library, engulfed by tall bookshelves, trapped inside her own world. Notice how she flips a page of a book, lifts her chin up, and scamper away to find another book. She then walks, clearly entranced by the antiquity of everything that’s around her. She then walks, clearly making up stories inside her mind. Her lips twitch as she does. People look at her, but she wouldn’t seem to care. She has her own world with her – much better than what is laid on her table. She’s crazy, in her own kind of way.

Talk to her like any normal person would do. Ask her about her interests. See if she’s interested to respond to whatever comes out of your mouth. She’d be busy thinking at times though, about her next story, a topic, a blog post. A lot of things just pop out inside her mind like popcorn, but just go talk to her. Sooner or later, she’d realized that somebody is willing to listen to her chatter.

Ask her out on a date, because she knows what it means to fall in love, take risks, and get hurt. She knows how it feels, or at least how to fake it. She had been used to twists and turns –they’re already part and parcel of her system. The girl who writes has already been tested by time for she’d been slaying dragons and fighting in wars in her stories, together with the main character and everyone of the cast in the story. Date her for she had been the captain of a ship, the queen of her own castle, the pianist of her own concerto. She knows for it is through writing that she could express what she truly feels. She knows for it is through writing that she breathes and lives. Just take her anywhere. She’d see the good and bad side of things; she’s already used to them.

Try to understand her actions a few months later. She’s only concerned with how to change the story’s flow, how to surprise you as the story goes, and how to make magic out of mere words. The pen is her wand; it is through which that she gains access through her mind’s eye. Emotions are her vocabulary. Words, sentences, and paragraphs are her helpers. The girl who writes knows how to command them to do things, the way a hunter catches his prey. Stories and essays are her spells. She is literature’s fairy godmother. You, the man who reads, are her secret prince. Try to understand her as she lives on her ordinary life. Try to fathom all her words because she means it, but never get tired of reading her mind. Appreciate her passion. She knows how to please you through her words.

Give her time to pause, for she knows it’s the best for the both of you. The girl who writes knows where to insert the climax and where to put transitions. She knows how to iron things out. She knows when it doesn’t sound right, or if it would, how to make it better. Her sentences might “run on and on”, but never get tired of chasing her. She loves it when you brood over what she has written. She might not be an expert when it comes to syntax, but she knows how she’d deal her thoughts. Let her write, let her move. She’s just the girl who reads, the girl who doesn’t rolled into one person, and that somebody in between. She’s just a girl.

Date a girl who writes for she knows how to begin and end your love story. She had it all outlined in one of her sacred notepads, tucked within the deepest recesses of her bag each day. She still doesn’t know what the ending would be, however, for like a pen she’s just an instrument, guided by the power of a story left untold. It’s up to you both on how the story would go: you, the man who reads and her, the girl who writes. But most certainly, it would be another happily-ever-after.

Thanks for the inspiration, Charles Warnke.

Signs of Life

http://misteravid.tumblr.com/post/3273571268/what-the-bitter-ones-should-do-today

Break through hoping your demons can't catch you. So many people with a good view if you should ever be the one to hit the ground. There's stop signs on the wrong highway and it's so dark looking for answers but your headlights have already gone out. You're looking for a spark. Can April hours spring signs of life in me? 

A heart that's been buried in the ground can't break if its never found. I spent so much time digging that grave. And even if it's pain that I feel at least I know that its real. I'd rather be broken than afraid. 

Its a long ride, dont think its over. It's a fine line between disaster and a good time. Pick up the pieces and find out who you are. It's a cool sound you know youre hiding for a meltdown. Feeling the pressure like a landslide, you have to figure out why you fell apart. 

Just slow down and take it in stride. There's no deadlines as long as you're alive.

--Signs of Life, Lifehouse

Emo-dium 101

"You compelled me. None of my feelings are real." --Stefan Salvatore, The Vampire Diaries

Manila Chronicles: 14

Wala namang bago sa EDSA, traffic pa rin. Wala ring bago sa MRT, siksikan pa rin. May mala-"parade of colors" nga lang --sa kalye, sa mall, sa opisina, sa kung saan-saan. Bida ngayon ang kulay pula, mala-pula, itim, mala-itim, puti, nagkukunwaring puti at ibang kulay na minamaskarahan ang tunay nilang kulay. Yung tipong ayaw magpula kasi nagsusumigaw pero ayaw ring mag-itim kasi bitter naman. Ayaw ring magputi kasi... magmumukhang mataba!

Nakaputi ako ngayon.

Nagkalat sa bangketa ang sangkaterbang rakista: yung mga nagbebenta ng rosas sa kalye. Dinadaan-daanan lang naman sila ng mga tao. Titingin sabay irap. Pero yung iba, may second look. Ramdam mo ang hesitation, tipong gustong tanungin ang presyo pero nahihiyang hindi makabili o kaya gustong bumili pero nahihiyang makita na sa kalye lang niya binili. Napakadami naman kasi kaechusan!

Sa MRT, naka-muk-up ang mga babae. Nakaporma. Namamango. Busy mag-text habang ngumingiti-ngiti. Sa Mall, nagkukumahog ang mga lalaki. Nakaporma. Namamango. Busy mag-text habang parang hindi na makaugaga, hindi na mapakali, na parang "today is the day... or not!"

Nakikipaghabulan ako ngayon sa aking pangarap.

Busing-busy ang mundo. Busing-busy ako.

Ang selepono kong kanina pa natutulog, nabuhay. Nagtext ang nanay ko ng "Hapi Balentayms".

:)

Wawenta Post

Dapat may sasabihin daw ako. 'Yung tipong parang utot na kailangang ilabas para daw di na sumakit ang tiyan.

E narealize ko, wala naman palang kwenta at hindi na importante. Nag-iinarte lang ako. Matagal naman na palang wala ang sakit ng tiyan. Papansin lang!

HAHAHA!

Yun lang! :)

Sapul!

http://misteravid.tumblr.com/post/3232688245/i-am-reposting-this-for-it-is-almost-valentimes

For all you EMOs out there: Relak, See a Muve!

Happy Puso Day! :P

Unlikely

Lau was reading this week's lesson, Hope Against Depression, last night while I was reading my posts from my old blog, Anik-Anik, Atbp. Actually, it was my third blog. My first attempt to publicize my thoughts was in Purple Rain, a blog feature from the defunct website of AMiCUS-UPD. I forgot to transfer all my posts to another blog before the site hit non-existence. The second one I entitled Moonshadows, which I decided to erase because of some circumstances. Haha, I remember now. Nabadtrip nga pala ako kasi may nagliligawan sa blog ko, talaga nga naman! (I think my reaction then was, "Ang kapal ha, sa blog ko pa talaga nagligawan!" Hahaha)

Anyway, so Anik-anik, atbp came to be, and my first entry was entitled Circles (the one I reposted). Siguro nasasakal lang ako sa sitwasyon ko before na kahit mga friends ko kinaiiritahan ko. I was really that aligaga that time. And my excuse then was, "I'm brokenhearted and depressed." Haha. And I think that image stayed to a point where it became synonymous to me -- Si Ligay, ang babaeng pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa! (Other synonyms would be "Ang babaeng mahilig sa True Love," "Ang babaeng mahilig sa mga pag-ibig na puno ng tandang-pananong at tandang-padamdam," among others. Haha, adik lang.) That blog became a shock absorber, where I can just rant all day, where I release all the negativity inside my brain, where I vent out all my frustrations and emotions. It actually became easier for my friends to understand me (because every time they ask me what's wrong, I would just break down and cry. I was THAT emo! Gulay!)

But something must have changed over the years. I still burst out emo-shits occasionally, pero kumakabig agad. Because the truth is, I don't have a reason, or even the right, to be depressed or whine about things that are happening or not happening.

So when Lau read the seven signs of depression, there's still a thought that I would score maybe 3 over 7 or 4 over 7. Lau said she scored 6 over 7. Hehe. Surprisingly, I got butata. ZERO. And I was like, "So sa ating tatlo dito, ako ang walang bahid ng depression? Ganun? Parang hindi naman..." So inisa-isa nila sa akin why I failed the depression test:

Depression causes a variety of painful manifestations:

• a deep sense of sadness (sorrow): Sabi nina Lau, hindi naman daw ako malungkot. Wala naman daw akong reason para malungkot. Sabi ko, hindi ba pwedeng maging reason ang kawalan ko ng lovelife? Tiningnan lang nila ako, at natawa ako kasi, honestly hindi ko naman siya pinoproblema. Pero part yun ng new year's resolution ko. Hehe. Yun nga lang, bakit mo poproblemahin ang bagay na wala? Or kung meron, e bakit mo pa poproblemahin? Hehehe.
  
  
• a lack of motivation to do anything, even enjoyable activities: Marami naman akong bagay na ine-enjoy gawin. Sulok, for example. Kahit ngarag-ngaragan, I still love being a part of it. At ineenjoy ko naman ang pagsusulat, pagdaldal, pagtawa, pagkain, hahaha!!! Ako na ang mababaw ang kaligayahan! :)
  
  
• a change in appetite and either weight loss or gain: Actually, problema ko nga ang hindi pagbaba ng timbang ko! HAHAHA! At anong loss of appetite? Walang ganun! Sarap kumain nu! Kaya hindi talaga ako mamayat! :P
  
  
• sleep disturbances, sleeping either not enough or too much: wala naman masyado, mahilig lang akong magpuyat at kailangan kong gumising ng maaga kaya minsan kulang ang tulog ko (kaya rin siguro may biglang pag-e-emo na nagaganap, hmmm...)
  
  
• feelings of low self-esteem: Sabi ni Sheli, wala daw ako nito. Never daw ako nagkaroon ng low self-esteem! Grabe naman, meron naman, hindi ko nga lang ine-entertain! Because, sabi sa Bible, I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" so bakit ako mag-iinarte? Buti nga kumpleto ako (sobra pa nga e, ng taba!!! hehe). May iba nga na may kulang pero nagagawa pa rin nilang magpasalamat. So sino ako para hindi pasalamatan ang lahat ng meron o wala ako, diba?
  
  
• poor reasoning and memory: Ewan ko lang ha, pero sabi ni Sheli, ako daw ang may pinakamaayos na memorya at reasoning powers sa aming tatlo ngayon. Bolera naman 'yang si Sheli, hahaha! Sabi ko sa kanya, I have selective amnesia kaya, maraming detalye sa past ko ang hindi ko maalala. Sabi niya, pinipili mo lang naman ang maaalala at hindi. Ayun, sapul! Hahaha
  
  
• thoughts of death and suicide: NO! I am so vain to even think of killing myself, sabi nila. Hahaha. But really, hindi talaga. Siguro dati, pero kapag naiisip ko kung paano ko papatayin ang sarili ko parang... eeeeeewww... Imagine, sasaksakin mo sarili mo, sakit kaya nun! O kaya uminom ng lason? Yuck kaya lasa nun. O kaya magbigti? E yung paghihintay mo na mamatay e nakakaloka kaya, wag na!!! Hahaha

 

Sabi rin sa lesson, a basic coping strategy for depression consists of talking to a friend who knows how to listen, and there's a healing effect in verbalizing thoughts and feelings. So maybe the reason why I don't feel depressed is because I have friends whom I can talk to with whatever. And for all the depressions I had, sila talaga ang nagtitiyaga sa akin. :) And of course, I can talk to my mom openly. We're like the best of friends. We fight, yes, but at least I can voice out my frustrations without a thought of being forsaken or whatever. Hehe.

And maybe because I talk a lot. Talk meaning write all my thoughts about anything and everything. I can verbalize my feelings and thoughts easily daw. Nagiging emo lang daw ako kasi I'm an emotion-sucking vampire, I feed on other people's emotions! Hahahaha!

But I think, the best coping mechanism talaga for depression is prayer. I don't want to sound preachy or anything, but it's the truth. Knowing someone listens to you with whatever things you want to say saves you from killing yourself. And the best listener still, for me, is my Lord.

So, guard your heart, people! Nagpa-fluctuate madalas ang emosyon ng mga tao ngayong buwan! HAHAHA. And don't forget to pray. :)

Repost: Circles

The thing about circles is that there is no room for change; there are no corners to express your individuality, your happiness, your sadness. You’re stuck with who you were and what you have then.

And so you have your circle of friends –those whom you trust, those who stayed by your side through thickness and thinness, those who accept you for whoever you are and those who encourage you for whoever you will become. Yet sometimes you just hate being surrounded by them. You know that they will always have something to say with everything that you do. Even their silence could mean something.

Let’s say you’ve been hurt by someone you’ve loved for the longest time. Your friends wanted to protect you, and you let them. As fragile as a glass, you go on to find strength to move on. You tell yourself, “Hey, it’s his loss, not mine. Try to live your life apart from him. Live a life.”

It would be tough but you were convinced that everything’s going to be fine. And so you went on trying that new outlook in life. You live apart from him, well, at least for a few days. Then you realized that it’s harder than you thought because you are friends. Or at least, both of you are claiming to be. You are both trying to salvage a friendship and you understand that throwing that friendship away is just as tough as getting over him. And the worse part is that your friends are also his friends. You just can’t get rid of him as easily as you want it to be.

Getting over him, saving friendships –and to think that you’re not a superhero, you have no superpowers to deal with everything all at the same time. But that’s the fact. That’s the reality that you want to maintain, you’re friends with him minus the feeling.

Plus, you are blessed by friends who are so concerned about your well-being. It's as if they are trying to be your fairy godmother, or your personal Confucius. I guess the latter is more applicable. You know you can’t blame them because they are only concerned with what you feel, but sometimes they just make things more confusing, and you become more confused. Sure, they see things clearly more than you do but I guess they sometimes forget that it is not that easy to do things as quickly as a snap, especially when it comes to emotional dilemmas, just like what you are in right now.

Is staying in that circle the best thing to do? Or maybe you have to get out of there for a little while so that you can see things, as much as they see them? Or maybe getting some “corner” in that circle would greatly help? But if that’s the case, it would not be circle anymore.

_______________________________

Hindi ko na maalala kung bakit ko 'to sinulat, malamang nag-aangas lang ako! hahaha. April 2005 ko daw siya sinulat. Sori pero di ko na maalala anong nangyari nun. Selective amnesia. hehehe

Emo-dium 101

"Ruin is a gift." --Eat, Pray and Love

Emoticon #2

"Preferential or unconditional love? If I love her because she has excellent qualities, then my love is conditional on the preferential considerations I have bestowed upon my beloved. If those preferential considerations are removed for any reason, then my love for her will either cease altogether, or worse, turn into hate. I MUST THEREFORE LOVE OUT OF DUTY. THEN MY LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL! That is, I only love my beloved genuinely and unconditionally if, when all my preferential feelings are stripped away, I find that I still love her. I must be ‘‘able to continue finding her lovable, no matter how she has become changed.’’ Tell me, my friends, nagmahal na ba kayo ng ganito? This is as difficult as loving the Revolution. Even if it fails, we still must continue loving the Revolution for no reason at all just for Duty!" --Sir Gerry Lanuza, status niya sa facebook (10Feb11)

Manila Chronicles: LOL

Morning madness sa LRT.

Sabi ng VO girl sa LRT, speaking in a maarte way:

"Bilang respeto sa kapwa pasahero... bawal pong mag-ingay o tumawa ng malakas sa loob ng tren."

Say what?

LOL! 

Manila Chronicles: Tales of Two Lates

Chance

"It's too late baby now, it's too late..."

Hapon na. Pagod na ang katawan. Nagliliwaliw na ang utak sa mga kung anu-anong bagay na karaniwang hindi naiisip sa normal na oras. Sa gitna ng nagsisigawang mga sasakyan at sa lumilipad kong utak, may isang pupukaw sa aking maselang atensyon.

Naka-khaki pants, black polo shirt. Di maporma pero mukhang mabango. Makinis ang mukha, nakasalamin. Geek, malamang, with a perfectly managed haircut. Kamukha niya 'yung crush ko nung highschool, nung highschool pa kami. Hmmm, tipo!!!

Napaisip ako ng mga what ifs, yung tipong sabi ni Sir Ricky Lee na nagsu-sustain sa lahat ng kwentong pampelikula sa mundo. Mga what if ngumiti siya sa akin, what if kilala ko pala siya, what if siya pala! Minsan may ganyang topak ako, pampasaya ng mundo!

Tingin-tingin lang ulit, nagpapakasasa sa isang magandang tanawin sa gitna ng usok at baho ng Maynila.

Maya-maya pa'y napatingin ako sa kanyang kamay na may hawak na backpack.

Oooopppssss...

Singsing.

Palasingsingan.

Kaliwang kamay.

Sablay.

***

Missed

"It's too late to apologize..."

Dalawang magkaibigan, nakaupo sa tapat ko sa MRT. Usap-usap sila sa mga bagay na wala akong kinalaman. Naghihintay kami na umandar ang MRT papuntang QAve. Hindi pa masyadong puno, kaya nag-aabang pa ng maisasakay. Medyo mainit, hindi pa binubuksan ang aircon.

Biglang dumating ang kasunod na tren. Napaisip ang magkaibigan na lumipat sa kabilang tren, para siguro mas maluwag o kung ano man. Paidi-idi silang tumayo, hindi mapakali kung tatayo ba o uupo na lang, kung lalakad o hindi, lilipat o hindi.

Sa may pinto, nagdesisyon silang lilipat ng tren. Paghakbang ng isa palabas ng tren, sumara ang pinto. Nagkahiwalay sila. May isa sa loob, tumuloy sa biyahe dahil wala naman siyang magagawa. May isa na nasa labas, tutuloy rin sa biyahe, ibang biyahe nga lang dahil tulad ng nasa loob, wala rin naman siyang magagawa.

Hindi ko lang alam kung sinong iniwan at naiwan.

Impid

This post should have been entitled "My unsolicited opinion on why Angelo Reyes killed himself" with a lengthy expression of my political naiveness disguising otherwise and my disgust over the whole corruption issue in our country, with a little concern about his life, and a dash of existentialist blah blah.

This could have been my most angsty post in this blog, screaming "society sucks" but...

--nothing follows--

Slow

Lazy Saturday afternoon, after coming from church...

Lau: (Talking about Bubu and Mumu) Ligay, bakit ang bagal na nilang gumalaw? Kailangan na yata silang palitan ng tubig.

Ako: (Napatingin pero tuloy lang sa pag-iinternet) Ahh, sige mamaya. Papalitan ko ng tubig.

Lau: (Napasigaw) Aaaaahhh... bakit slowmo na sila?

Ako: (Napatingin lang ulit kina Bubu at Mumu) ...because it's a slowmo day!!! 

Hahahaha

Sweets No More

...well, at least for a week. Mr. Doctor advised me not to take in anything sweet, be it liquid or solid (or gas?) So bawal ang kape. NOOOOOOO!!!

I've been sick for a week, coughing like hell, as if my baga, atay, balumbalunan (manok? haha) and all my innards would come out of my body... I hate being sick.

Sabi ni Lau, baka dahil sa fatigue at puyat kaya ako may sakit ngayon. Baka nga. I have an 8hr job during weekdays, may OT pa minsan at dumadalas, SULOK on Sundays and other sked na pwede pagsingitan, plus my review which I am neglecting to do. Sa lahat ng ginagawa kong ito dito sa Manila, I still have to go home sa Laguna because Mom needs me there. After her minor accident bago matapos ang 2010, hindi na ako masyado nakakatulog everytime umuuwi ako. I need to attend to all her needs kasi hindi niya magalaw mga kamay niya - pagkain, pagtayo, pagpuntang cr. May nag-aassist naman kami na kinuha for her, yun lang mas gusto ko kasi na ako ang nag-aattend sa nanay ko. I remember when I was in Thailand nung 2009, naaksidente rin siya. Nalaman ko na lang, magaling na siya. Nakakaguilty, siyempre. Panganay ako. Dadalawa lang kami. May asawa na kapatid ko. At ako ang babae. Kahit anong pilit kasi nating lubayan ang mga ganyang partikularidad ng buhay natin, minsan hindi lang talaga matatakasan lalo na kung usaping pamilya na ang involved. So yun. Nung maaksidente si Mama, I wanna see to it na hindi lang ako hangin na nangungumusta.

Eventually, medyo naging okay na ang pakiramdam niya. She opted not to undergo operation. Mahina na rin kasi siya unlike before, plus she has diabetes. So therapy na lang gagawin dun sa shoulders niya. After that advice from the doctor, parang bigla ko na lang naramdaman lahat ng sakit na hindi ko naramdaman nung mga nakaraang linggo. Nagsimula lang sa konting sipon, at yun nagtutuloy-tuloy na. I still tried to go to office kasi kaya ko pa naman kahit medyo nilalagnat-lagnat na ako. Pero nung thursday, di na talaga kinaya ng powers. Grabe na yung ubo, hindi na ako nakakatulog. So nung Friday, I decided na magpachek up na. The nearest clinic is the UP Health Service, aka Infirmatay este Infirmary pala.

All my college life, iilang beses pa lang ako nagpadpad sa Infirmary (kasi ayoko talaga ng ospital to begin with at ayokong umiinom ng gamot.) So, parang weird na dun ako magpapachek up. At syempre, iba na rin ang sitwasyon ngayon. Hindi na ako student. At kailangan ko nang magbayad ng serbisyo nila.

To cut the story short, ayun, nagbayad ako ng Php450 sa doktor para lang masabihan na uminom ng salabat, maraming tubig at bawal magkinain ng matamis. Niresetahan naman niya ako ng gamot, yun nga lang, pati gamot mahal. Haaay.

"Battle Scars"

Thanks, Mister Avid, for sharing your talent and for uttering words I cannot speak through your works. I wish to meet you someday, somewhere in the universe. 

Repost: Untitled #1

Kung langit ang ating hangganan
Hindi tayo mauubusan ng liliparan
Halughugin natin ang buong kalawakan
Hanggang wala nang kalawakang pumapagitan.

Lisan natin ang hangganan ng lupa't langit
Lumipad palayo sa mundong mapanlupig
Simulan ang paglaya ng isip,
Subukan nating lumikha ng himig.

Kung iilan ang salitang kayang bigkasin
at ang imahe ay bibihira kung dumating
wag kang mangamba't iyong silipin
baka nakakadena lamang at napapaalipin.

Igalaw ang naparalisang mata
Iindak ang nawawalang paa
Humayo tayo't magpakasaya
Itanghal natin ang ating mga tula.

Nobyembre 17, 2007
Baguio City

__________

Nakalimutan ko nang sinulat ko pala 'to. Haha :) Ang Xiauismo ay nagmimistulang baul ng memorya. :)

25 Random Things

Sandamakmak ang ganito sa facebook at friendster, yung mga "Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to blah blah..." At nakigaya rin ako. Ito yung 25 random things about me noong 2009, dagdagan lang natin ng mga komento. :)

1. I am a vegetarian. (Bilang pasaway, sumasablay na minsan.)

2. I love buying and reading books.

3. Writing is my first love. Tapos music at visual arts.

4. I love the moon.

5. I love surprises.

6. I hate waiting.

7. I soak my feet in warm water and it feels ohh so good!!!

8. I love soft and cuddly stuff. hehehe (IT'S SO FLUFFY! I WANNA DIE!!! ^^)

9. I have many pillows in my bed.

10. I wanna learn Japanese!

11. I will go to Mexico and go swimming at the beaches of Cancun or Acapulco! Hahaha (That is if I learn how to swim before the world ends at 2012, sabi sa Mayan Calendar... hahaha)

12. I want to translate Pablo Neruda's poetry straight from Spanish to Filipino. I have translated "Soneto XVII" from the English translation only... :(

13. I want to read Rizal's novels in their original version.

14. I will go backpacking before leaving Thailand in 2010. (Which I never had the chance to do because of the Red Shirt rallies there. We actually tried to go to Chang Mai at the height of the conflict. We ended up taking the wrong bus dahil nagmamadali para di maabutan ng curfew, and were sent back to Bangkok first thing in the morning. Haha)

15. I have lots of debts to pay.

16. I am considering artificial insemination as alternative (That is if I am still single by the time I turn 35; and if I'm rich enough to pay for it. Otherwise... hmmm... there are other options... hahahaha)

17. Donna said, I'm very gullible. After some revelations weeks ago, I realized that I am not just gullible, I'm stupid and naive! Ahaha Diba mga ateng?

18. I am a cry-baby, but for some reasons, I can manage to impede my tears. I acquired that talent from a not-so-distant past. Hehe. (Emo pa rin naman! ^^)

19. Sadyang madaldal lang talaga ako. Pero kapag nanahimik na ako, hmmm... I'm brewing something... evil!!! Ahaha

20. I take eating seriously. I am always silent whenever there's good food. Hehe

21. Contagious daw ang kagagahan ko! Ahaha.

22. I am a very shy person. Honestly. (Which no one actually believes. Bakit kaya? ^^)

23. I am naturally curious. Like when I was three years old, I cut my hair because I was curious what scissors can do, and how haircutters manage to cut my hair nicely. That was the time I realized that haircutting is not the career path for me. Hahaha.

24. I repeated that same "kagagahan" when I was in highschool. Inahit ko 'yung isang patilya ko! Di ba naman! Ahahaha

25. Mahilig daw ako sa "true love"... whatever that means... AHAHAHAHA

The 10 CONYOmmandments

Reposting from Arjay's blog. Haha. :)

 

1.  Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa" .

ex. "Let's make pasok na to our class!"

      "Wait lang! I'm making kain pa!"

      "Come on na, we can't make hintay anymore! It's in Andrew pa, you know?"

2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "diba" and "eh" in your pangungusap.

ex. "I don't like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it's like, so eew, diba?"

      "What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?"

      "Eh as if you want naman also, diba?"

3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It's SO pang-uri!"

ex. "It's so malaki, you know, and so mainit!"

      "I know right? So sarap nga, eh!"

      "You're making me so inggit naman.. I'll make bili nga my own burger."

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", 'tsong" or "pare"

ex. "Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare."

      "I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh"

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!

ex. "My bag is so bigat today, you know"

      "I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!"

6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.

ex. "I have so many tigyawats, oh!"

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?

ex. "Like, it's so init naman!"

      "Yah! The aircon, it's, like sira!" 

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?

ex. "Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?"

      "It's so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"

9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?"

ex. "Like, OMG! It's like traffic sa LRT"

      "I know right? It's so kaka!"

      "Kaka?"

      "Kakaasar!"

10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!

ex. "I'm, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!"

      "Me naman, I'm from Lazzahl!"

(Got this from one of my e-groups, you know. It's so funny talaga, like, you know, it's kinda true. LMAO :)

To know is to succeed.

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle." --III, Art of War

Tambien La Lluvia

Gael, ikaw na talaga!!!

"The memory of oppressed people cannot be taken away and for such people revolt is always an inch below the surface." --Howard Zinn

Aabangan ko 'to...

Morning Balinguynguy

Kakatunog ng relo, 6:30 ng umaga.

boy adik: Oist pano na nga bumasa ng t-test? Hahaha

girl bangag: Hahaha. Ako pa talaga tinanong mo.

*after ilang minutes*

boy adik: Alam ko na. Ok results nung survey. Astig!

boy adik: haha

girl bangag: wow

boy adik: Madugo lang na pag-i-e-explain.

girl bangag: hahahahaha

boy adik: Daming extraneous variables...

girl bangag: Feb pa lang naman, kaya mo yan. hahaha

boy adik: Teka yung thesis mo diba place based identity?

girl bangag: Uu...

boy adik: Nag-iinfluence ba talaga 'yun for social action?

girl bangag: "Their varying placed-based identities also proved to be influenced by social factors existing in their communities, which are necessary conditions for these place-based identities to be manifested into environmental collective action."

girl bangag: Sabi ng thesis abstract

girl bangag: hahahaha

boy adik: hahaha

boy adik: Ganun ung nangyari sa isang site ko, kahit na wala masyadong resources, similar yung recovery rate from Ondoy dun sa isang site na busog sa resources

boy adik: katuwa naman

Ang agang balinguynguy naman nito... :P

Paunawa: Magka-birthday sina Boy Adik at Girl Bangag, sana naipapaliwanag nito kung bakit para silang mga sira kung mag-usap. Hahaha!

Tatlong Araw

Paboritong post ni Kelvs sa logbook dati. hihihi

tatlong araw lang pala 

ako naging maligaya

di ko man lang napuna

tatlong araw ko'y tapos na

araw ng kalokohan aking kinagalakan

di ko naunawaan na ako'y masusugatan 

di ako makapaniwala at ako'y natulala

lumululong lumalala ngunit ba't biglang nawala

tatlong araw lang pala ako naging maligaya

di ko man lang napuna tatlong araw ko'y tapos na

tatlong araw naging masaya isang taong lumuluha

bakit mo kaya nagawa

bakit ka hindi naawa ngunit kung mapagbibigyan 

ang patalim ay hahawakan 

kahit na magmukhang timang basta magkabalikan 

tatlong araw lang pala ako naging maligaya

di ko man lang napuna tatlong araw ko'y tapus na

tatlong araw lang pala diman lang ginawang lima

di ko man lang napuna tatlong araw ko'y tapus na

talong araw

--Parokya ni Edgar

Ginagalugad ang bawat sulok ng memorya para sa password na hindi ko maalala... hay naku!

Narda

Para sa mga uber-busy.

Tila ibon kung lumipad. Sumabay sa hangin, ako'y napatingin sa dalagang nababalot ng hiwaga. Mapapansin kaya sa dami ng 'yong ginagawa? Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat may pag-asa bang makilala ka?

Awit na nananawagan, baka sakaling napakikinggan. Pag-ibig na palaisipan sa kanta na lang idaraan. Nag-aabang sa langit. Sa mga ulap sumisilip sa likod ng mga tala.

Kahit sulyap lang, Darna. 

Ang swerte nga naman ni Ding, lagi ka niyang kapiling. Kung ako sa kanya, niligawan na kita. Mapapansin kaya sa dami ng 'yong ginagawa? Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat may pag-asa bang makilala ka?

Tumalon kaya ako sa bangin,para lang iyong sagipin? Ito ang tanging paraan para mayakap ka.

Darating kaya sa dami ng ginagawa? Kung kaagaw ko sila paano na kaya?

-- Kamikazee

BIYAHERO Teaser v.1

poster design: Vincent Julius Matias

BIYAHERO

March 6 and 13, 2011
3 and 6 pm
PAC Multi-purpose Hall
Pasay City

For ticket reservations, please contact 09178879267.

Lies

I think it's time, we give it up and figure out what's stopping us from breathing easy and talking straight. The way is clear if you're ready now.

The volunteer is slowing down and taking time to save himself. The little cracks they escalated and before we knew it was too late for making circles and telling lies.

You're moving too fast for me and I can't keep up with you. Maybe if you slowed down for me I could see you're only telling lies, breaking us down with your lies. When will you learn?

So plant the thought and watch it grow, wind it up and let it go.

-- Glen Hansard

"Para Kanino?"

"Sa akin[...] problema ko sa pagsulat ng tula, ano ang estilo, paksain, teknik na gagamitin kahit pa politika ang subject matter. Nilutas ang mga ito ng katanungang ‘Para kanino?’” -- Bien Lumbera

Emoticon #1

Kung ang love ay katumbas ng pagbili, ayoko ng tiangge or sale. Ayoko kasing nakikipag-agawan. Gusto ko kung akin, akin lang. Hindi naman kailangang made-to-order na walang katulad. Ayos lang ang may katulad, wag lang yung binili ko ang pag-iinteresan o kaya hihiramin. Selfish kasi ako e, ayokong may ka-share.

Ang Pagdadalaga ni Papa P

Thanks to ANC at sa kanilang mga news-recaps, nakasilip ako sa pagdadalaga ni Papa P sa The Buzz.

Apparently, umamin na si Papa P na sila nga daw ni Mareng KC at matagal na yata sila. (Sa lahat ng pag-deny nyo and all, hindi ko talaga ma-gets bakit may ganitong aminang nagaganap. Ang siyowbizzz!!! Haha!) Sa totoo lang, wala naman akong kebs kung sino man maging jowa ni Papa P. Nakakatawa lang ang kanyang reaction habang inaamin niya ang kanyang pag-ibig kay KC. Kinikilig si 'Day na para bang first time niya mainlab. Kulang na lang ay tumili siya sa kilig na nararamdaman niya.

Haay. He's so... (hindi ko na lang tatapusin ang sentence, baka sugurin ako ng mga fans ni Papa P... hehehe)

Yun lang ang chika ko for today, at talagang kailangan kong i-blog. Haha. Ang Negatron ko kasi. 

Manila Chronicles: Calm

Minsan

sa

isang

linggo,

kalmado

ka.

Minsan

lang.

Kape and other drugs

We were supposed to watch "Love and Other Drugs" e super late na, ayun kape na lang. :)

LSS sa Maginhawa: Turn it off, NOW!

I heart Hayley. :)

Natalie, ur scaring me!!! hahaha

Ligay is dead.

Nagtuturo ako ng Kritisismong Pampanitikan dati at gustong-gusto kong ituro ang subject na yun. Anything goes kasi. I mean, syempre nandun yung basics, theories and all, pero marami na kasing paraan ng pagbasa ng panitikan at nakakatuwang marinig mga opinyon ng mga estudyante sa kung anu-anong texto na itatapon mo sa kanila (and of course, fun lang ang klase para ma-appreciate nila ang panitikang Filipino.)

So binigyan ko sila ng exercise, paper actually. Kailangan nilang basahin ang isang tula at gagawa sila ng papel tungkol dun: paano ang pagkakabasa nila sa tula. Bahala sila kung paano nila yun babasahin o kung anong teorya ang gagamitin nilang gabay.

Ang binigay kong materyal ay yung luma kong tula, yung MULTO. Hindi naman ako nag-expect ng sobrang bonggang kritik mula sa tula na yun. Gusto ko lang makita pano nila babasahin yun at dun na ako kukuha ng paraan pano ko ipapaliwanag sa kanila ang mga anik-anik na kailangan nilang malaman.

So yun na. Initial reaction nila nung binigay ko yung tula, "Ang drama naman nito Ma'am. Sino si Ligay?" E hindi ako nag-disclose ng info kung sino yung author, kung sino si Ligay. Kasi nga kapag nalaman nilang ako ang nagsulat nun, malamang bobolahin lang nila ako sa kanilang mga mabubulaklak na mga pananalita tapos madadala naman ako kasi, wala, pariwara lang talaga ang utak ko sa mga ganyan. hahaha.

Pagdating ng pasahan ng papel at nang tsinetsekan ko na, may mga lumabas na politikal daw ang tema ng tula, tungkol sa kalayaan, at kung anu-ano pang echos (at siyempre may nagsabi rin na walang kakwenta-kwenta ang tula na yun. Dont worry, pumasa naman siya sa klase ko pero may bahagi sa akin na gusto ko siyang ingudngud. hahaha.) Syempre bilang ako ang nagsulat nun, natatawa ako sa mga pagbasa nila dahil hello, wala namang bahid ng politikal echos ang utak ko nung sinusulat ko yun, pero in fair, pwede rin. Mahabang talastasan nga lang. Pwede ring mga kalayaan and all, pero ang puno't dulo lang nun e ang pag-e-emo ko at hindi ko naman yun masabi dahil "the author is dead" daw. Labas ang aking pagiging author ng tula sa pagkakataon yun. Kaya, keri lang.

Pero wag ka. Habang natatawa na nga ako dahil sobrang hindi ko inexpect na ganun nila yun babasahin, may isang kagimbal-gimbal na pagkabasa ang aking natagpuan. Natigilan ako at nasabi sa aking sarili na, "Kilala ba ako nito? Bakit niya alam?" Sabay tawa na nagulat na lahat ng tao sa faculty room. Parang ganito ang sabi niya:

"Ang tulang ito ay tungkol sa isang taong naghahanap ng kalayaan sa isang lipunang mapanupil. Pumipiglas siya subalit sa tuwing kanyang susubukan ay bumabalik pa rin siya sa katotohanang hindi siya matatanggap ng lipunan. Bakla si Ligay."

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Next class namin, bitbit ko na yung result ng paper nila. Bungad na bati ko sa kanila ay:

"Ako si Ligay."

Isang segundong katahimikan at napuno ang silid ng iba't ibang tono ng sigaw, na parang yun na ang katapusan ng kanilang buhay. Haha.

Sunday, Emo Sunday

Manila Bay Sunset
Sabayang Emo
Kanya-kanyang Emo

The last sunset daw ng 20s ni Grets, dahil two days ago was her 30th. Thus the sunset emo-trip by the bay. Yun lang, kanya-kanyang emo! Hehe.

With Sheli (The Geek Emo), Grets (The Emo Bday Girl), Vinz (The Rockin' Emo Photographer), Lau (The Emo-ticon), Arjay (Si Direk Emo). At siyempre kasama ako, The Emo. :)

Emo vs Jejemon

Alin mas trip nyo?

Emo

 

 3

Jejemon

 

 0

Wala. Yuck pareho.

 

 1

Pareho. Bcoz I am both. :P

 

 0

Ang pinakamatinding tanong ng taon:

Hahaha